Building A Great Life From A Fractured Past

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Not all of us get the start in life we truly desire. Sometimes, building a life that we truly want takes deep perseverance, effort and no small amount of sacrifice. The effects of a difficult childhood are hard to play down, as they can continue to haunt you later into life. So can a period of odd behaviors, such as getting into the wrong crowd of friends, doing things you weren’t proud of and are trying to rectify. If you’re making any effort at all to try and overcome the issues found in your youth, you should be proud of yourself. People absolutely can change, and with enough foresight and effort, you can surely do the same. However, acting as if things will change on their own without some form of solid routine planning is deluding yourself.

If you want to build a great life from a fractured past, you will need to find some form of substitute worthy of filling in those fractured cracks of your past. You need to find a mode of living which can help you understand, address and accept your past. Many guides on the internet will recommend that you divorce yourself from your past, but if you do that you are unfortunately divorcing part of yourself from yourself.

Sometimes, addressing the issues and accepting them can be of significantly more use than pretending that the issues don’t exist. As the writer, Fyodor Dostoevsky once said, “Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his lie comes to the point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect, he ceases to love.”

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This can be a fate too horrible to imagine. If you’ve had a tough time of it, you absolutely deserve to understand what a happy life can mean, but don’t think that it’s going to be a day one fix. Sometimes, these issues will take decades to resolve fully. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t begin the process as soon as you can. Find the best ground for you to stand on, and take each day as it comes.

Once you’ve realized that you need to make a change, it’s likely that you want to take on a million things at once to rectify your issues, but that’s simply a straight method to failure. People don’t change their ways as quickly as that. Fortunately, there are some steps you can take. Getting to a counselor provided by your local healthcare professional, contacting criminal defense lawyers to help you expunge your long past criminal records, or getting a restraining order against toxic people in your life will help you begin the slow path to rebuilding your life from the bottom.

Make a schedule for yourself and work at it every day. It’s important to understand just how useful this can be. The effort which accrues from giving it your all each day will reintegrate you with yourself, and that can be the most vital thing you need right now. Over time, your identity will shift to someone hoping to avoid making the same mistakes of their past, to someone so deeply immersed in their new obligations, such as work, relational or simply living healthier, that becoming better will mean everything to you, and will last you until the end of life.

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Life isn’t easy, but treating yourself as if you were someone you truly loved and cared for can help you mitigate the sadness of your situation tremendously. We’d like to wish you the best of luck in your efforts.

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Student @ Advanced Digital Sciences Center, Singapore. Travelled to 30+ countries, passion for basketball.